Home > Tom Arnold
 | 0.3 Tweets Per Day (TPD) 423.5% Reply Rate 6678% Link Posting Location: Los Angeles + Map |  @TomArnold Official Site | |
What do these 3 handsome Hawkeye legends have in common? They want to save Olympic Wrestling! #IOC #FILA #CPOW … http://t.co/u1wwqaaU8L
TomArnold
If you think that your life is going by too fast get a baby and become a human baby swing. #WatchingTheDamnClock
TomArnold
Angelina Jolie is heroic today because she forced us men to think about and even talk about something very uncomfortable. Our wives health.
TomArnold
Grandpa, @AshleyLynArnold & Jax. Happy Mothers Day baby. . I love you guys. http://t.co/FbC589cYgD
TomArnold
If a new mom says "Let's take the baby down to the beach and walk around". Just say "Anything you want". She will be asleep in 15 minutes.
TomArnold
Happy Mothers Day Weekend up in here. Up in here. http://t.co/7tWT2CVddJ
TomArnold
Other Old Dads: It's a bad sign if you spend more time lying down than your 5 week old.
TomArnold
When I was 17 I dreamed about having this really cool realistic space ship simulator I saw on TV. Jax's little baby swing is exactly like it
Updated 10 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
TomArnold
My employees are like family which explains why one of them just took a dump in my bathroom and forgot to flush.
TomArnold
Soul Plane 2: Me and Charles Ramsey are in. What about you @SnoopDogg @kevinhart4real?
TomArnold
You rocked it bud! @mistergiuntoli: @TomArnold nice work tonight. your patch of carpet was almost completely destroyed.
Updated 16 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
When my baby gets pissed he looks just like @pattonoswalt Adorable!
TomArnold
Just saw the Reece Witherspoon tape. Media exaggerated her performance. Not even close to full redneck.
TomArnold
I'm not using my fingers, hon. @AshleyLynArnold: @TomArnold NO tweeting and holding the baby! That's like drinking and driving
Updated 20 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
The wife just left me with the baby for the first time. Feels like when I was 15 and my parents left me home in charge. Who wants to party!
TomArnold
Today was the day we found out who Jason Collins and Chris Broussard really are. I'd rather shower with the gay guy.
TomArnold
My man George Jones stopped loving her today. #RIP
TomArnold
Duh @HuffingtonPost: Megachurch leader says nagging wives are like water torture (VIDEO) http://t.co/GVKoMToXNP
Updated 25 days ago via Twitter for iPhone Permalink
TomArnold
After watching 10 long minutes of the #NFLDraft I'm grateful I still subscribe to a newspaper so I can shut it off.
TomArnold
Just crunching numbers here and "I'm My Own Grandpa" is the only realistic formula in which I will can become a grandparent. #StanleyStupid
TomArnold
Time stands still between breast feedings. Just read all of my followers timelines. #TheWifeIsSleepingOnTheGotDamnRemote
TomArnold
Keep watching #DogAndBeth @CMT They take down Reese Witherspoon next!
TomArnold
Watching #DogAndBeth @CMT. This is a documentary on why we need more background checks.
TomArnold
They come to my house! CMT: 20 minutes (9/8c) #RedneckVacation family does Beverly Hills. Celebrity home tour, Rodeo Drive, botox & surfing.
Updated 30 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
This is just sad: @BoomerWells33: Fuck........ I'm never playing softball again blew out my groin old age just caught up.o-well
Updated 31 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
I don't think it's a coincidence that Dog The Bounty Hunter's new show premieres this weekend. @CMT
TomArnold
Once you see what boobs are really made for you feel a little silly about your past behavior with them. #MakingAmends
TomArnold
Today's Lesson: You cannot make a baby stop crying by gently rubbing his head fuzz all over your face.
TomArnold
I am a father. @Mark4911: Don't get political. Nothing kills a comedian faster. There is no way to not isolate fans. It is so polarizing.
Updated 33 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Gun lobby owns US Senate. Not even popular common sense background checks. Fuck them all. Especially the Democrats that voted against it.
TomArnold
My former lover @JenKirkman's I Can Barely Take Care of Myself is out today. She is hilarious and sexy in a poignant way. At any bookstore!
TomArnold
The one thing that's giving me comfort on this terrible day is seeing all those brave folks immediately running towa… http://t.co/I6sRz7rz1E
TomArnold
Updated 36 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Sunday nights are all Dog & The Mrs! @CMT: @MrsdogC @cmtcody @CMTpress @TomArnold LOL! Battle for CMT? Let the games begin! :)
Updated 36 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Hahaha...much better than his daddy's @daxshepard1: @TomArnold lincoln asked how his "other parts" were. I'm worried.
Updated 37 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Just laid my son down and told him about Kobe's injury. He wept. Then burped. Then he farted. He's a fan. #Lakers
TomArnold
I've had a great day watching a ton of internet clips of the amazing Jonathan Winters. I wish I had a nugget of his talent.
TomArnold
RIP Jonathon Winters. The funniest man in the world. Look it up young people.
TomArnold
Notice that no crazy idiots ever threaten to nuke China or Russia and yet we're the only one's who've ever nuked anyone. What up with that?
TomArnold
You want to lose pregnancy weight? Breastfeed. I've already lost 10 pounds. #NotKidding #SoreNips
TomArnold
But yours is so much more mature. @IMKristenBell: .@TomArnold your baby is so much cuter than ours. big deal. i can admit the facts.
Updated 39 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Because of my fertility issues my sweet wife took a heck of a lot of hormones to make our son but she still looks go… http://t.co/ipXcJ2i56b
TomArnold
Thank you. BTW just spoke to the WGA. They say you own my son. @sutterink: @TomArnold congrats, brother.
Updated 42 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
You too buddy. @PerezHilton: @TomArnold Congrats! RT Tom Arnold Is Finally A Father! Comic Celebrates A Baby Boy!
http://t.co/CfYF5fZvup
Updated 42 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Maternity is the only section of the hospital where all the nurses constantly say "congratulations!" Oncology, not so much.
TomArnold
Thank you. I'm not trying to copy you and Dax. My son, Jax Jeppard agrees. @IMKristenBell: @TomArnold congrats tom!!!!! So excited for u :)
Updated 44 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
My son wants to watch My Big Redneck Vacation and The After Show right now @CMT...at least I think he does. He's a man of few words.
TomArnold
Game Changer: Jax Copeland Arnold. 8lbs 12oz. Looking forward to being a 70 year old Little League Coach,
TomArnold
Shocker: Iowa couple is first to marry at new wedding chapel inside Las Vegas Denny's restaurant (with photos): http://t.co/fecD4D7EUX -CC
Updated 46 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
I loved #RogerEbert. He was a fan of film. Smart and fair. Sad.
TomArnold
Kevin Ware's injury was tough to watch. It's a good time to think about those who've also had terrible injuries defending this country.
TomArnold
If a guy Tweets or Facebooks how much he loves his wife you know he's done something horrible. BTW...I love my wife.
TomArnold
Devastating injury:( KSchwarzenegger: Serious prayer for the basketball player from #Louisville . Wow! Crazy fall.
Updated 50 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
We only gave him the edit with the kiss. @cmtrifone: @TheRealRoseanne @mikewb75 @tomarnold how did you convince him?
Updated 50 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Coach K vs Rick Pitino: Battle of the Vampires. #Duke #Louisville
TomArnold
TomArnold
Riley Martin @SternShow gets weird @CMT: Grab a your favorite spot Get ready...in less than 30-minutes (9/8c) #RedneckVacation, at Area 51.
Updated 51 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
TomArnold
Ladies, there's plenty to go around. #GoldenBoy @AshleyLynArnold: Not as much as I do! RT @BonSomerville I love @TomArnold
Updated 52 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Just left Nashville. All the rednecks I worked with got no problem with marriage equality. Remind me who's against this again?
TomArnold
My new fav show #Goldenboy is about to start CBS 10/9. Has everything: Hot dudes, tough black guy and the amazing, sexy @BonSomerville #Dude
TomArnold
Justin Bieber was in show business so he didn't get his ass kicked in school like the rest of us. He yearns to know what that feels like.
TomArnold
ISU got boned on the O foul but it was a hell of a game.
TomArnold
When Iowa State beats Ohio State tomorrow my brackets going to crap itself.
TomArnold
How can anyone with a heart deny those Sonic guys the right to marry? #MBRV @CMT
TomArnold
Tonight's My Big Redneck Vacation is a special and its pretty damn funny. #NewStuff #OldStuff #WeirdStuff @CMT 9/8c
TomArnold
I know. Genius. @PoisonGiselle: "Shut the fuck up, Charlie! Shut the fuck up!" @daxshepard1 @TomArnold @IMKristenBell #hitandrun
Updated 60 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
And Gibby @GregFitzShow: Great new pcast up w/ my good friend @TomArnold go to iTunes or http://t.co/J0vrLiS6KQ
Updated 62 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
I will @GregFitzShow: Tonight @TomArnold on my @Howard101 radio show at 7PM PST. Pcast w/ Tom up tomorrow at noon on iTunes. Get involved
Updated 63 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
New episode of My Big Redneck Vacation on in 5 followed by all new After Show @cmt
Updated 65 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Watch! @CMT: NEW #RedneckVacation TONIGHT at 9/8c, then a new After Show What happens in Vegas is NOT stayin in Vegas http://t.co/94JjlQWqgh
Updated 65 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
I have been waiting in my trailer so long I have literally read everything on the internet.
TomArnold
You left me here! @KevinZegers: 2 1/2 hours in traffic. Check. 7 hours in trailer. Check. Back home in bed without stepping on set. Check.
Updated 66 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
@JuddApatow maybe we could do a @kickstarter and bring him back to life
Updated 66 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
I miss Farley @JuddApatow: @BrianBenning2 @tomarnold @youtube wait!! I wrote that! I think that was made in 91.
Updated 66 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
I take it you haven't worked yet @KevinZegers: Skyping with Nugget. http://t.co/0y2be5ma26
Updated 66 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
I have a real TV in my trailer @KevinZegers: Watching #SchindlersList in my trailer. http://t.co/WHYNro5aR3
Updated 66 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Lil Wayne is alright but I've still got 90 minutes crammed in the back of this shit box before we get to Pomona.
TomArnold
Yes she is @Kevin__OConnor: @TomArnold hitting on @CharissaT has me laughing hard. That woman is way too dope.
Updated 69 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Is it weird that the only thing that made me uncomfortable about this weeks #Girls was the splinter in Hannah's ass?
TomArnold
I know. Amy is amazing. @notyouracademy1: @TheRealRoseanne Granted the hats are a bit much. She continues to publicly champion Roseanne
Updated 70 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
She's the one that wore the crazy outfits. @notyouracademy1: @TheRealRoseanne Amy Sherman-Palladino honors u (Gilmore Girls, Bunheads)
Updated 70 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
There are 15-20'showrunners on TV right now who's careers you started. @TheRealRoseanne: @TomArnold @ryan_purvis TY!
Updated 70 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Absolutely not @TheRealRoseanne: @TheRealRoseanne @ryan_purvis @TomArnold the stage is set -i was not on cocaine -correct? thanks!
Updated 70 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Updated 71 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Tonight all new Redneck Vacation and then a bonus RT @CMT Take a longer #RedneckVacation with our NEW After Show TON… http://t.co/4DdphyPbc3
TomArnold
Bonnie is amazing. @AshleyLynArnold: Loving #GoldenBoy @BonSomerville
Updated 73 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
Baltimore is nice. Can't wait until Ripkin gets here! @BComedyFactory http://t.co/5F1WJa7snk
TomArnold
Can't wait! @Ryan_Pinkston: Excited to see @TomArnold at the @BComedyFactory tonight! Been too long, buddy!
Updated 73 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
TomArnold
Here we go. @ESPN_FirstTake: It's another Who We Got Wednesday! Today's special guests are @TomArnold & @TayeDiggs.”
Updated 75 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
No, you are. @malugargula: Hit and Run is amazing, great job @daxshepard1 @mrosenbaum711 @IMKristenBell @TomArnold”
Updated 76 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
That means a lot since we were competitors today! :) @RobMorrow_: LOVE the guy @zeediddy28: @TomArnold @robmorrow_ you guys are friends?
Updated 76 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
My 8 month pregnant wife just ran down to Five Guys and brought me back 2 bacon cheeseburgers. Morrissey must be super pissed.
TomArnold
This Blackhawks streak is starting to become a thing, right?
TomArnold
If you haven't shit your pants eating BBQ you can't really call yourself a BBQ lover.
TomArnold
I know the Dallas airport better than I knew my mother.
TomArnold
TomArnold
Hahaha...right...@THR: Sources: .@NBC Discussing .@JayLeno Exit Plan http://t.co/pj6cctWfdc
Updated 80 days ago via Twitter for iPad Permalink
TomArnold
This is the bottom of the page....
This Week's Tweets (2)
Tom On YouTube
Today's Most Talkative
