Home > Colin Quinn
comedian | 91,690 Fans Chance of Friendship: Excellent 0 Tweets Per Day (TPD) 0% Reply Rate 0% Link Posting Location: nyc + Map |  @iamcolinquinn Official Site | |
I'll say what every guys thinking: Cher's gonna be on the Voice. I will be staying in that night!!
Updated 8 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Pretty cheezed off that I missed the big Paul McCartnie's concert but what can you do. Thought it was today I guess it was "Yesterday"!
Updated 8 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I'll say what every guy's had on his mind this week: Congratulations Judith Light on the Tony win!!
Updated 8 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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iamcolinquinn
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I heard @anthonycumia's party was so wild, there were more bloodshot eyed people than the witness list for the Whitey Bulger trial.
Updated 9 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
Can't believe that @lennymarcusnyc turned out to be the NSA whistleblower. #uthinkuknowsomeone
Updated 9 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
Updated 9 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Then I close by going keep supporting live theater! There's nothing like a Broadway show, fans! For excitement and amusement! Good night!
Updated 9 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
Welp, here's my opening joke if I had been at the Tonys: Nominee for best revival Golden Boy based on my friend @Jimnorton
Updated 9 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
I've always been a friend to all and a team player and yet these stupid corny douche award shows always try to be funny and fail. #igiveup
Updated 9 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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I guess I'm not funny enough for any of these douchebag award shows. Well, guess what they'll all pay one day, believe me. #seefour
Updated 9 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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All these years never get invited to any of these crummy ass award shows. They'd be lucky to have me do a set. #effit #effthemall
Updated 9 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
By the way, how many plays do I have to write and star in before I get invited to do a "quick set" on the Tonys? Enough with this business!
Updated 9 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
Neil Patrick Harris making out with a dog at the Emmys last night? WTF and I'm gross because I curse in some of my skits? #hypocrisy
Updated 9 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
Meanwhile everybody is trying to bang Joan but they only put her in one scene tonight delivering a bottle of Johnny Walker to somebody.
Updated 10 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Big night tonight! Did anybody watch? What a blowout. I don't know about you dudes but I was expecting that win! #kinkyboots #tonys
Updated 10 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
Mad Man Recap: Don gets caught stealing his own daughters letters and the nerd tells his mother he's turning gay! And Peggy kills a bat!
Updated 10 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
http://t.co/RxQfSWFcZi via @youtube Vimeo of intern advice at after party brunch this morning @anthonycumia's house.
Updated 10 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
http://t.co/OspgHXq6Gx via @youtube The only uncomfortable moment @anthonycumia's party all because Roland couldn't stop discussing work.
Updated 10 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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. @anthonycumia It's like the T shirt says My Drinking Team Has A Bowling Problem.
Updated 10 days ago via web Permalink
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Tell them I have a drinking problem....I only have two hands! @anthonycumia
Updated 10 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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. @anthonycumia Hey tell your guests "finish that beer there are sober children in China" right Ant? Hahaha.
Updated 10 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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.@anthonycumia Welp, I'm sure most of your guests weren't drunk. Oh no....maybe a few were a little "overserved", right?
Updated 10 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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.@anthonycumia From some of the pix, seems like Roland might've been the heart and soul of the party.
Updated 10 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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The feud with @anthonycumia and his sordid soiree has only begun, fans. But what do u expect? Think how close "friend" and "fiend" are!
Updated 11 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
Not trying to be negative but have a really bad feeling about this weekend. A lot of blood drenched days.Hope I'm wrong. #butimnot #staysafe
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
Not sure who should play the maid of honor. Maybe @lenadunham or @amyschumer I'll be playing the Navy Seal I guess.
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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New idea: Apocalyptic romcom. A plague kills all except a perennial maid of honor and a Navy Seal. They shoot and stab their way to love.
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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It's about how we can't run away from ourselves (literally:there's a chase scene where the hit man chases himself around town). #meta
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Okay, I'll give you the outline. It's a hit man who's gets an assignment from the "boss". But he realizes..it's to kill..himself!! #meta
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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If the movie makes profit (which it will) you get invited to a screening! Of the movie itself. And be able to say "I was part of it!"
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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It's an idea I have for a premise for this idea about an individual (me) who goes on a journey that changes him ultimately.
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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If you give me some #kickstarter money we can do this together. I'll take care of the "script" or whatever. Let's make it happen, fans!
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Guys, I need some help with #kickstarter. Looking for a couple of hundred thousand start up costs for an idea I have for a movie.
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
I went to an IRS audit once, they said what is your business address and I just pointed to my head. They smiled and wrote me a check.
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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comedian
I tried to get tax exempt status for Winner In The House my sitcom you may remember from twitter last year and those "JO"s turned it down!
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Funniest part is, I've been in charge of the Tribeca Tea Party since 2005. We have meetings every Tuesdays. Lot of celebs u wouldn't expect.
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Remember: those who trade liberty for security deserve a pat on the back and and "atta boy". Ben Franklin
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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IRS tries to audit me, I'll go in their office and start ripping up hundreds right in their face! Then kick over the water cooler and leave.
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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NSA taps into Facebook. That's why I stay on twitter. Hide in plain sight. They don't have the guts to come at me, eff them and the IRS!
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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I guess fans, I'm a "one of a kinder" (occupy hollywood) and the "industry" doesn't always "get it". (their words not mine)
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Last night when I was "doing my thing" @NYIrishCenter I realized that this is where I belong "up there" not looking down at people but....
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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To all fans of my comedy/performances. Great news! I'm planning to make this year my "banner year". "Productive and illuminating". (YWNM)
Updated 12 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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My birthday was a "huge success"(your words not mine) by any standard of measurement. Pleasure, laughter, activism, service, empowerment.
Updated 13 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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If @lenadunham or @amyshumer want a treat for me. You could pay somebody for me to kick and choke out while I administer a beating on them.
Updated 13 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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What I learned on my birthday: That u can get more good wishes with a pleasant disposition than all the "edgy, shock" comedy out there!
Updated 13 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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If you want to give me a bday present I'm registered at Bed Bath and Be the Best You You Can Be Today. That's what I'd like today...fans.
Updated 13 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Don't worry fans, I still have a full deck.....I just shuffle a little slower now.
Updated 13 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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I'm at the age where the cake costs more than the candles! Whew. Have to wear ray bans when i blow it out. (promoted) #happybirthdaycolin
Updated 13 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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If you missed the play, you can come to this and make up for it....A benefit NY Irish Center, June 6 http://t.co/tdsqX8cwWR
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Going to do Unconstitutional for closing. If you didn't see it, I'd love to cut your face up real good. But I get it, life gets busy.
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Idea for @modernfamilytv . The whole family goes out to a restaurant. A waitress comes up played by... Christina Applegate!! "Dad?" "Kelly?"
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Mad Men recap 2: Peggy gets mad because she's not a partner and the skinny nerd kicks up a fuss because everybody's on the road except him!
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Mad Men recap: Don goes out to "the Hamptons"and got drunk and tripped in the pool. Joan gets a new account back by flirting. #madmen
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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So the Exterminator goes downstairs in the people's house and the bugs have thrown a surprise party for him! Now he can't kill them!
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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What happens is there's an "investation" (revolution?) and the homeowners (bankers?) try to have the bugs (people) killed (murdered).
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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But..through the help of some of the good bugs and rodents...(mice, ants, etc..) he confronts his behavior by the end of the flick.
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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The twist is the guy is not a bad guy. But his job is killing living things. And how does he reconcile that with himself? By drinking!!
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Some of them want to kill the guy when he comes to one of their houses, and others want to appeal to him as a fellow member of the planet.
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Exterminator is the story of a man who works for a bug killing company and the bugs and rodents that have decided to do something about it.
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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If more people got along in this world, there'd be less violence in my opinion. That's why my next movie is about the subject. #exterminator
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Seems unfair that I get to make people howl with laughter and get paid for it when I would do it for free just to help people. #ohwell
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Every futuristic movie is going to be laughed at by our forefathers down the road just like we laugh at movies from the past these days.
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Writing a movie where a man fights robots but they don't respond because they're machines so it's like watching a guy kick a car.
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Well it's Monday morn. Time to Monday morning quarterback! Well, why not those numskulls over at Congress do it all week!? #rightorwrong
Updated 16 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Chip literally just started laughing to himself and repeating "Jubilee" just because I mentioned the word Cherry. It was pure idiocy.
Updated 17 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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. @jimnorton Thanks Jim. It was fun visiting backstage till I mentioned the Cherry Lane theater and Chip started giggling and said "Jubilee"
Updated 17 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Then all the hair products and the tweezing and the self tanning.....and what the girls have to go through, too!! #ladiesandguysarelaughing
Updated 17 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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And what about these outfits! The shorts with the heels.....and those are just the guys! #theguysknowwhatimtalkingabout
Updated 17 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Joke of the day: Wooo, girls looking hot in New York today! Then again, why wouldn't they, it's darn near 90 degrees! #amirightladies
Updated 17 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Sorry I'm not afraid to say I love laughter!! If the fans (my words not yours) can't support the celebs (your words not mine) then eff it!!
Updated 17 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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I guess certain people like JS have it...and certain people DONT! You know who you are! Your words not mine!!!
Updated 17 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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RIP Jean Stapleton. She was a true artist like me. Not like you stupid "sellouts" out there. (your words not mine!)
Updated 17 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Fans, just remember keep positive at all times! If you have a fat neck or some other disfigurement, don't indulge in self pity.#fatface
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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2 mins left and they're down by 12. Still plenty of time left.
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Rooting against Miami because I stand for the underdogs of life. The losers, the nerds, the stupid idiots, accident prone butterfingers.
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Miami vs. Indiana it's a real barn burner. And to think I used to play this crazy game and was considered "very good" (your words not mine)
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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If the "offending colleague" is bigger than you, look them up and down and then mutter to yourself "That's why God invented the lead pipe".
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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If somebody wants to "play games" let them know that games don't end when one person decides. Remind them we all fall asleep sometime.
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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If you stay around ego driven controlling narcissists they'll take advantage of u. Let them know from day one you've got a murderous heart.
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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. @jimnorton Brilliant job on @wkamaubell show! However, not a fan of your "I lost weight upgraded wardrobe look" #notryangosling #creep
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Writing new book "People Of Encouragement". It's about how to be a supporter of artistic types such as myself without getting in the way.
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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The common denominator in all success is achievement. Goals can only be overcome by achieving them. Please listen to my advice! #important
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Surround yourself with creative and enterprising people. That will give you the vitality to explore a life of artistic purpose.
Updated 18 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Never fear fans. The hollow laughter of your "peers" will become a funhouse mirror reflecting on their own distorted adulthood.
Updated 19 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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When I was in school the kids would stab your lunch and laugh. Then you have to eat a sandwich with a hole in it. #notcool #junkiesbastard
Updated 19 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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People used to tease me and crack me with master locks in the hallway but I got the revenge. Today I'm alive half of them probably OD'd!
Updated 19 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Guys I'm begging you. Please keep up the good fight against achieving your obstacles! You've got to be a "cut above the rest".
Updated 19 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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http://t.co/aXm52nG2HW via @youtube My speech for Unconstitutional winning a drama desk award this year has finally been released.
Updated 20 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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. @richvos plays "The Dodger" who borrows money from family members and then tries to avoid them in a humorous way. @jimnorton
Updated 20 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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iamcolinquinn
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Together they're known as the Legion of Meh and they annoy the city until Humorboy saves the day with his heroics.
Updated 20 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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The other villains include "Mr. Bubbles" a singer from up north, and a man who morphs into Jagger when he needs to make a fast getaway.
Updated 20 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Anchordemon has a photographic memory and can look at a script on someone's desk and memorize it without even touching it.
Updated 20 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Just got "green lit" on my new screenplay about a comic superhero "Humorman" who saves NY from the grip of villain "Anchordemon"!
Updated 20 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Teenagers need a place to go where they can feel empowered for a change instead of being told they are students or whatever.
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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.@kickstarter want to start a national fighting school like Boy/Girl Scouts only this is more of kill technique academy for adolescents.
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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At the gym fans, about to "get my lift on". Sad we have to live in a violent world where a man needs to keep jacked to regulate jerks.
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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I mean, I've always been a "name" (your word not mine) and I've always been a "tv personality" and "important" but not always "successful".
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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Not trying to be a "jerk" but couldn't be more pleased with the way "things" have been going lately fans. Could be turning a career corner!
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
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