Home > Colin Quinn
comedian | 91,690 Fans Chance of Friendship: Excellent 6.7 Tweets Per Day (TPD) 0.7% Reply Rate 6.7% Link Posting Location: nyc + Map |  @iamcolinquinn Official Site | |
It took me a week of sneaking around before I could unload all the white diamonds but when I did it was a real score.
Updated about 2 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I can even help with the script. "She had these great eyes just like Liz Taylors". "It'll cost you Burton. A lot!"
Updated about 2 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I don't know maybe it's time this business stopped disrespecting one of it's kings.
Updated about 3 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
It would be fun for her to work with a great comic anyway. She'd be laughing and prob fall for me like Liz fell for Dick. #leaveitontheset
Updated about 3 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Plus Gotti's originally from 11th street in Park Slope so you know he probably heard of me.
Updated about 3 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
On the set I would talk her into having me play Gotti instead of Travolta. I can bust that Ozone Park swagger the way few men can.
Updated about 3 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Plus Burton was a known roustabout and I could pull that off like nobody's business.
Updated about 3 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I'm perfect for the part because not many people can play brash and English at the same time but I can do it I know I can.
Updated about 3 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I'll do it too. I didn't get to where I am by not making a good impression on people in general and society in particular.
Updated about 3 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I never petition for a part but I believe very strongly that I should play the young Richard Burton to Linsday Lohan's Liz Taylor. #yesorno
Updated about 3 hours ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Don't mean to get all serious, but Ardie Fuqua buried his amazing son, Jamaal today so if u pray give them one. If u don't, a thought then.
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
http://t.co/y6Fu3y97 via @youtube Here's the 3rd scene, first day that Jeff( Joel McHale) meets Britta ( Gillian Jacobs). Rewrite by me.
Updated 2 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Taxi Driver 1976 : I'm HIP!: http://t.co/MBPJOgoO via @youtube Here's the 2nd scene I shot for Community. This is meeting the new teacher.
Updated 2 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Routine Traffic Stop: http://t.co/N1HUz5NJ via @youtube Here's the first scene I shot for new Community. First day of drivers ed.
Updated 2 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Keith Robinson as the Joe Clark principal who comes in with baseball bat if the kids makes fun of his sweaters.
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Vos would be the auto shop teacher who still dresses like the 80's and makes the kids fix muscle cars only.
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then Norton plays a Face/Off role as himself as a teacher who's dealing with a troublemaking wisecracker in class. Chip Chipperson!
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Robert Kelly can play a "harried computer teacher" who blows up at the kids when they don't follow his instructions.
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then if anybody effs with me, I fire them. Only not the normal way I bring them in to my office on "wheel kick wednesday" and "pink slip"!
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then I tell NBC to back off if they say they look to old. I tell them why don't you kiss my grits. Then I bring KMG back as an expression.
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then I bring in some old pals from the tough crowd crew to play some of the students. Lol.
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
First thing I do is get rid of some of the "deadwood" on that show. Then I bring in some music mixes I'm been playing around with.
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
good news. NBC fired Community creator Dan Harmon and I'm replacing him. As the new creator and also as the new star of the show! #aboutime
Updated 2 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Not a bitter or jealous type person but would really like to kill that facebook kid that just made a hunnert mill. #couldathoughtofthat
Updated 3 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
How about where they pretend @JimNorton gets knocked off horse and they do a horrible cut away to him lying on the ground? Boooo.
Updated 3 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Russell Brand unfollowed Katy. His loss is my gain. I'm gonna start following her and we all know where that's going to end up.#teenagedream
Updated 3 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Saw a beautiful young girl on Jay Leno last night. Then realized it was @JImNorton dressed up as some kind of renaissance tranny.
Updated 3 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I'm not a racist who believes in white privelege but I do believe very strongly in white power.
Updated 4 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Nothing against anybody else but this is kind of..our country. Yes or no?
Updated 4 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Just read white birth rates overtaken by other races in the U.S.? Please let that be somebody's idea of a sick joke! #rightorwrong
Updated 4 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
No More Tears (Barbara and Donna) the song my bro's team ran out to when he played high school ball at Bishop Ford. Priest prob picked it.
Updated 4 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Btw, Gary Gulman who's a funny and "smart" comic ( like CQ) will be in Boston May 24 taping special. http://t.co/eKFgVDB3 if you're around.
Updated 4 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
But ultimately it comes down to the bottom line and it's crunch time and you have to deal conclusively with that.
Updated 4 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
But I guess people can only see things the way they perceive them to look from their own standpoint and through the prism of their vision.
Updated 4 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
There's a cost for everything and if we don't want to pay the price, well then you'll be the ones that suffer in the long run anyway.
Updated 4 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
It's time people started to stop trying to not do the same things that got us to where we don't want to be to begin with.
Updated 4 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I believe everyone should have equal rights, but not to where it changes the laws.
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I don't feel anybody should have to hide their sexuality. But this gay marriage thing needs to be stopped. Now. Am I right, or right?
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I don't want to blow his cover because he's married and his wife is his "anchor". But he had an "elf" like quality that made me wonder.
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
There's a lot of in the closet celebs. I knew one at SNL.
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
The best reaction to a blowjob was of course Henry Hill. Karen drops down on kitchen floor he goes "Oookayy".
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
And then he turns down Fran Drescher when she wants to dance with him. And she was hot. And his father cracks him in the head.
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then he gets a blowjob and jumps off the verazanno narrows bridge.
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I felt the subtext of Sat Nite Fever was a gay thing. Because his brother was the "priest" that left the seminary suddenly?#ohyeah
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I liked him in Wild Hogs but some of his more recent ones have been real "bombs".
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Second I think that what John Travolta did was disgraceful. If he ever tried that with me, he'd get an earful.
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Couple of quick thoughts. Wish Justin Bieber had stayed with his old haircut. It had a certain "flair" that's been lost in my opinion.
Updated 5 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Gig tuesday and wednesday D.C. Improv. Any girls there for "other reasons" don't bother. I'm there to work on my act so respect that please.
Updated 14 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Neville Chamberlain: One minute we're over here kissin and huggin two minutes later he's acting like a fucking jerk.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Hitler diary: If we wanted something we took it. If anybody complained twice they got hit so hard belive me they never complained again.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I mean the guys in Poland 24 hours a day. Another fucking few minutes he could be a stool that's how often he's in there.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Hitler to Mussolini. "I'm kidding with you, you invade North Africa?" What are you a sick maniac?" Benito"How do I know your kidding?"
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
You know we all used to call each other allies. Like you said to somebody you're gonna like this guy. He's all right. He's an ally.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Let's face it, if we didn't enter WW2, all of Europe would be relying on Germany for survival!!
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
See Europe needs to learn "Fiscal" is not just a prison town in upstate new york.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
France is having election problems too. Maybe it's time for a second "marshall plan" as a quick history brush up lesson for Europe? #USA
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
If Greece votes for anti bailout party I think we should maybe think about taking their gov't over for a little while till they smarten up.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then maybe I force a couple of names that dropped out. "So Rick Perry's finally dropped out." then do Rick Perry jokes from six months ago.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I'm going to try a few of my old John Kerry jokes from a few years ago. I think the crowd will still be into them.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then I go with a few Snooky jokes and a couple of Kardashian remarks. To let the crowd know I disapprove just like they do.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I open by saying I just did a gig in A.C. and now I'm here in D.C. I guess you might say I'm "adaptable". Lol.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then I start with the morning talk shows. Hey, who DVR's Chris Mathews and watches Chris Wallace and vice versa?
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then I smile pleasantly like "Hey, I guess the more things change..."
What?" You know. No, I don't know that expression. #wheninromerewrite
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Then I start in on the whole political scene in D.C. Make a joke about all the B.S. that flies back and forth. Then shake my head smiling.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I might even really go crazy, make a couple of "Sarah Palin" jokes.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
It's not that I have all the answers, it's more that I raise questions that weren't even considered. I'm solution based, always have been.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I'll be at the D.C. Improv this tuesday and wednesday. If the goverment is smart they'll send some people down to check out my insights.
Updated 15 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Big breakup scene in mcarren park moves like jagger is playing in background
Updated 21 days ago via Twitter for iPhone Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I go around Gpoint and Billsburg smoking joints and doing wheel kicks down Metropolitan ave. Aerial shot of me on the roof chilling.#end
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
But it's a martial art based on pressure points and neck strength where I put a pressure point on people and then head butt them. #allnew
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I'm like the artist on this episode of Girls. All the girls trying to get with me bc of my amazing artistry. #totallyidentify
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Or maybe I can be the guy who stands on Driggs ave in skinny jeans and all the girls walk by and go "Wow, did you see him?"
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
or a martial arts master who has a studio on Manhattan ave and all the girls are like that sifu is hot. And his dojo is badass. #plotlines
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I'm watching "Girls" I'd be perfect on the show as a cool mid to late twenties stud that lives down the hall and all the girls love him.#tru
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Just watched Mad Men. Terrible message! I don't watch t.v. to get the blahs. All those attractive people having a pity party. #whoneedsit
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I guess I'm a "name" or whatever. But I don't look at it that way. To me, it's just an honor to be able to make people laugh. #mygifttoyou
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
To me what does "A list" mean? What's a "comic legend" "brilliant humorist" these are all just labels that put you into a box. Yes?
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I guess you could say I'm "too big" for Celeb Apprent but I take all success with gratitude and humility. I don't like labels like "star".
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
They're coming up with a jingle. If I was there I'd just sample moves like jagger only change lyrics to "jump that battery". #samsroadside
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Watching Celeb Apprentice. As a fellow "A" lister I don't know who's gonna win but if I was on my charity would be IDGAC foundation.
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
In fact Girls should have an episode where they do like a tribute to friends. maybe they run into one of them at central perk.
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Hey "Girls" Friends covered the territory of young people in Manhattan and they kept it PG. And that show did quite well!
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Gonna give "Girls" one last shot tonight. Let's see if they can clean it up a little bit "content wise". How about a shopping episode?
Updated 21 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
To me it meant being a somebody in a businessof nobodies. I mean they did whatever they wanted. They would go to the clubs and bump people.
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I had money coming in from tough crowd and my Adam Sandler connection. Still months after the first show they were still finding premises.
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
It made him sick to think about turning over the show to the guys who created it. He'd rather whack em. And anyway what did I care.
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
That's how it happens. That's how easy it is for a guy to get bumped for Louie CK.
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
See when you think of SNL you get pictures in your mind of rows and rows of cast members. But it wasn't like that for featured players.
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Jimmy had never asked me to audition for his show before. And now he's asking Higgins to watch my set? That's when I knew I'd never be on.
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
On the surface of course, everything was supposed to be fine. But I had the feeling Jimmy was trying to sense whether I was tweet about him.
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Me and Fallon true story: I met Jimmy in a crowded place we both knew. I got there 15 minutes early and I saw that Jimmy was already there.
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
I guess with "Jimmy"Fallon as I like to call him, imitation is NOT the sincerest form of flattery! #fail #unfollow #notcool #notok
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Sorry. Real sex tape of John Edwards here! I swear! http://t.co/jNFqnB9x
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
John Edwards sex tape!! Right here!! http://t.co/jNFqnB9x
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
@OpieRadio The fourth face back looks like the child of Ellen Degeneres and James Norton.
Updated 23 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Best Beatles song ever! No argument! http://t.co/X0GNRfIW
Updated 24 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Look at crowd for goodnite. Laughter especially in these tough times is so so very important. If we made you laugh tonight we did our job.
Updated 25 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Our next presenters, one is known for his hands on approach to comedy, one who's hands are an affront to humanity, Judd Apatow and Rich Vos.
Updated 25 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
Our next presenters act like men but dress like women. Please welcome Kevin Hart and Eddie Izzard!
Updated 25 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
And now a bridesmaid and a soon to be bride, Maya Rudolph and the newly engaged Angelina Jolie!
Updated 25 days ago via web Permalink
iamcolinquinn
comedian
comedian
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