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I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
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1 Tweets Per Day (TPD)
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Location: Brooklyn, NY + Map
@EugeneMirman
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Thanks @JoeMande! RT @Yakov_Smirnoff: It's Would You Rather Wednesday! So, Would you rather lick a cat or sit on a cactus?
Updated about 4 hours ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Here's my commencement speech from @hampshirecolg this weekend! http://t.co/Ov1vHF9p
Updated about 7 hours ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Free tix link to my @ComedyCentral hour-special taping in SF June 21st! (& @kristenschaaled @kylekinane @amyschumer's) http://t.co/7R78SQYC
Updated 4 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
About to sins Perfect Day with @LanghorneSlim at a karaoke bar in midtown. http://t.co/6eZm008c
Updated 4 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Great night at the Adult Swim upronts. Still bummed T.I. didn't cover Phil Ochs.
Updated 4 days ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Thanks to @Amandapalmer, I just read this clarification from "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!" http://t.co/AUELOnLC
Updated 5 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
This a great piece by Bobcat. "@kurt_loder: #BobcatGoldthwait on being dead: http://t.co/BDZUg2Sw"
Updated 5 days ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Just clarify, the TT "R.I.P. Mel Gibson" is not about the actor, it's about a South Korean pop star who is sleeping right now.
Updated 7 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Which one of us will tell amazeballs it only has a few weeks left before people start getting mad at it?
Updated 7 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
The Tea Party was right! Obama has sent Redcoats to conquer Portland! http://t.co/4t8c6QDj
Updated 9 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
2 shows left tonight @HeliumComedyPdx! The show is the perfect place to bring a date and then after the show become a new mom.
Updated 9 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Maybe one solution is that we call same-sex marriage "malliage?"
Updated 9 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
It'd be fun to pick a small state, get millions to move there & pass an amendment defining marriage as between one man & one man.
Updated 10 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Wait, I'm confused, is Battleship a movie about aliens that come and take all our Coca Cola?
Updated 10 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
There's several terrible, loud guitarists playing outside in Portland & yet it's still nice here. Shows start tonight! http://t.co/uwCilx6s
Updated 10 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Maybe it wants the new Throwing Muses mixes? RT @kristinhersh wow...there's a raccoon in my house
Updated 12 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Ironman or Hulk? Well, Ironman would be fun to drive cross country with, but the Hulk is probably a better lover. So, I don't know.
Updated 12 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
#QuestionsIHateBeingAsked "What's a weird face I can make during a blowjob?" Come on, man! I'm just trying to buy a cup of coffee!
Updated 12 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Best Summer Food: Endangered whale!!!!!! & smoothies.
Updated 12 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
If twitter is accurate, North Carolina passed a law that they are assholes.
Updated 12 days ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Not sure I mind being tracked as much as I mind being told about being tracked. http://t.co/xUX7xgEc
Updated 12 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Portland, OR! I'll be at Helium Comedy Club 5/10 - 5/12 practicing for my one-hour Comedy Central special taping! http://t.co/oc2qGM9r
Updated 14 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Tonight @UnionHallNY Pretty Good Friends hosted by @kristenschaaled w/ Matt Graham, Nate Bargatze & Ryan Knighton! 7:30 doors, 8pm show. $7.
Updated 15 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Too bad that #StarWarsDay and #NationalCleavageDay aren't on the same day. There's some cross marketing that I think could benefit both.
Updated 17 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
OK. A plan for Romney. How about a "Picnic With America," where Romney & all Americans do potato sack races & he shares investment tips?
Updated 17 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Just realized it would cost closer to $580,000,000. That's too pricey. Need a new plan now.
Updated 17 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
New plan: in October Obama hires 500k Americans to wear fake mustaches all month for $145 million. In November, unemployment dips to 7.6%.
Updated 17 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
At a bar where we can't figure out if Romney is that different from Obama. Leave comments on MTVs website. Or wherever.
Updated 17 days ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
How about a cop buddy movie called Raymour and Flanigan? Maybe they solve furniture related crimes?
Updated 18 days ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Just paid $100 to change a $123 flight to a $112 flight on @Jetblue. Suprised they skipped their pee-in-your-mouth-change-fee. #YouAboveAll?
Updated 19 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
At the train station in Springfield, MA. It's not bad here, though "good" would also be an odd way to describe it.
Updated 19 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Here's the tix link for the show in Portland, ME 5/23 at St. Lawrence Arts! http://t.co/Z8uh7GXF
Updated 20 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I'm doing a bunch of shows in Portland (both!), Atlanta, Bloomington, Cambridge & San Francisco (taping a special!) http://t.co/Mu28nw0X
Updated 21 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Tonight @UnionHallNY Pretty Good Friends hosted by @EugeneMirman w/ Emily Heller, Johnny Pemberton, Adam Newman & Jeff Simmermon.
Updated 22 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Here's the latest @StarTalkRadio w/ @neiltyson @wilw @PFTompkins @kristenschaaled & me live from the Neptune Theater! http://t.co/WPf1FLB5
Updated 22 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I bet it'd be very stressful to be the sort of person whom always wants to correct people's grammar on twitter, but has the manners not to.
Updated 22 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
#RudestThingsIveHeard "Please stop bringing your tits to school, they make the 5th graders cry." Not nice!
Updated 22 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Me and my co-worker. http://t.co/ZBJPzXrN
Updated 23 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I think a cool music video would be Justin Bieber having 21 million fans march into the ocean.
Updated 23 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Can't wait to get the backstory of how this restaurant got it's name. http://t.co/tCE3vaYy
Updated 25 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Too bad this video only cuts between Romney & Obama. It'd be more powerful if they added clips of kitten losing jobs. http://t.co/DSPBFTTz
Updated 26 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Cabinet of Wonders 4/28 in NY w/ @WesleyStace @colsonwhitehead @deanandbritta @ACNewman @okkervilriver & me + more! http://t.co/zsWXYbRh
Updated 28 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Tonight @UnionHallNY Pretty Good Friends hosted by @EugeneMirman w/ @mrdavehill, Jacqueline Novak, Mike Recine, and Nick Turner! 7:30 doors.
Updated 29 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Hanging out with @Andykindler's brother. He's 45% as Jewish. http://t.co/NkhDysX8
Updated 29 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
At Bobby and Emily's engagement party with my lovely girlfriend, Katie. http://t.co/AZfPByZn
Updated 29 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Still pretty mad that though Jupiter is about 317 times the size of the Earth, it's gravity is only 254% more.
Updated 30 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
My cat in his cardboard travel box waiting to find out if he's healthy enough to join the army. http://t.co/m95ueYF6
Updated 31 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Mel Gibson should remake Lethal Weapon, but instead of the villains being heroin smugglers, it should be a boy celebrating his Bar Mitzvah.
Updated 32 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Well, @JoeMande RTs something and a few minutes later I know that both Vanilla Ice and Bronson Pinchot have home remodeling TV shows.
Updated 32 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Tomorrow we'll all go to sleep, while college kids put up #KONY2012 posters & in the morning we'll debate it's complexities on twitter.
Updated 32 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Help @hodgman @mshowalter Peter Dinklage & many more raise $$$ for @826NYC by donating to their Scrabble team! http://t.co/1jX9alNy
Updated 32 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Eleanor Friedberger at Bell House putting on an awesome show. http://t.co/dXgsGTSl
Updated 32 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
In a studio with America's favorite voice actor, @HJBenjamin, recording Bob's Burgers. http://t.co/IElv2YtX
Updated 33 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I signed up for a CSA a friend works at that delivers to Park Slope from June to November. Maybe try it too? http://t.co/pGMCWX9p
Updated 34 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Jon Benjamin Has a Tour w/ @HJBenjamin @leopoldallen @nathanfielder 4/24 - 5/3. You should go! http://t.co/q1SAXC9r
Updated 35 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Exactly as I imagined as a child, I am listening to Inside by Jethro Tull while taking a train through the country. http://t.co/fw6FaO4r
Updated 35 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
On @Amtrak for tonight's show at Hamilton College, which according to their website, is just 10 min from a T.J. Maxx!!! http://t.co/JzzX6IZL
Updated 35 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Tonight @UnionHallNY Pretty Good Friends hosted by @EugeneMirman w/ Brent Sullivan, Jena Friedman, Wyatt Cenac & Jeffery Joseph!
Updated 36 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I know it's illegal to joke about bombs at an airport, but so psyched that you can do it everywhere else.
Updated 37 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Less movies and TV shows about the Titanic and more about the Hindenburg please.
Updated 37 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
So if you are dancing wierd right now cut it out.
Updated 37 days ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Binged on @WTFpod over the last few days and loved the @Jakethis, Jon Glaser, and David Cross interviews.
Updated 38 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Working on I Take Back My Tweets, a doc about the moment in girls' lives they stop liking Justin Beiber & start listening to Pink Floyd.
Updated 38 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I can't believe North Korea's rocket failed, considering they had a perfectly clean 1950's command center.
Updated 38 days ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
#Top100Lies I would never put a pair of shoes in my butt. *Yes you would, dude!*
Updated 38 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I wonder if there's a way for me to accept Axl's induction not on his behalf (because he's forbidden it), but in place of on his behalf?
Updated 39 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
#replacebandnameswithbacon The Bacon (to clarify I am not replacing the word Beatles, but the word Strokes.)
Updated 39 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
It's really too bad Axl didn't try to get GN'R to all wear old-timey scuba helmets to the induction, preventing any accidental eye contact.
Updated 39 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
At How To Sharpen Pencils book launch, @letsgetshort shows an audience member how to sharpen a pencil by holding the s… http://t.co/YwrqMaUj
Updated 39 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
On the one hand, it'd be bad to parole Charles Manson. On the other, it'd be great if someone hired him to cover the election.
Updated 40 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
#BestWaysToGetRidOfAGirl Paint your dick like a crocodile and cry when you talk.
Updated 40 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
A blurry photo of the Baseball Project with 2/3 of REM playing (Don't Go Back To) Rockville right now at Maxwell's. http://t.co/AIfcqF2T
Updated 40 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Went to the awesome mall in Flushing with @AlinaSimone and enjoyed this at Beautiful Memory Desserts! http://t.co/sZMtyCTu
Updated 41 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Don't tell us, tell him. RT @NoReservations Standing next to Magic Johnson is like looking up at Mount Rushmore.only lots better.
Updated 41 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I was hoping it was to see Hunger Games together. RT @HuffingtonPost Here's one thing #OccupyWallStreet groups agree on http://t.co/6ou8yFUr
Updated 42 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I feel so silly for not starting an incredibly successful photo sharing site now.
Updated 42 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
It's such a beautiful day, too bad I have to go to a playground and sit there crying about how the world will end in the next hour.
Updated 42 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Kony better pray he doesn't end up on a flight from Boston to Toronto with Mark Wahlberg or he's finished.
Updated 42 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
#22ReasonsILoveKristen She has a smile like a warm fudge cake and her 2nd vagina is made of beautiful glass! (Who are we talking about?)
Updated 42 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
"Who will fuck and who will die on Game of Thrones tonight?!" — How I wish they would promote the show.
Updated 42 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
There seem to be a lot of false prophets walking around Brooklyn today.
Updated 43 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Tonight @UnionHallNY Pretty Good Friends w/ me, @Gemberlicking @adamwade @findingnimesh and special guest! 7:30 doors, 8pm show. $7.
Updated 43 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
#AllGirlsAreBeautiful regardless of how high you can jump or if your teeth are copper or your skin tastes like allspice.
Updated 44 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Who will be the first media outlet to do an exposé on the problems iTunes Match has caused so many middle-class Americans?
Updated 44 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Here's a fantastic video of @neiltyson talking about dreaming for the future #penny4NASA http://t.co/oZX27ccR
Updated 45 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
I bet once Mitt Romney gets the GOP nomination, he'll swing far more back to the left, possibly even over dosing on tanning pills.
Updated 46 days ago via web
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Tonight at midnight on Adult Swim the season finale of Delocated! http://t.co/LCCDZON1
Updated 46 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
If you go to a farmers market to buy ostrich oil... #YouMightBeANewYorker
Updated 46 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Tonight at Union Hall! Pretty Good Friends hosted by Brooke Van Poppelen w/ Andy Blitz, RG Daniels, and Seth Herzog! 7:30 doors, 8 show. $7.
Updated 49 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
A cool April Fools prank would be switch all the sugar in the world with halibut cheeks.
Updated 50 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Also, @azizansari guest stars on this week's episode of @BobsBurgersFOX http://t.co/vgWdrImO
Updated 50 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Tonight! A new episode of @BobsBurgersFOX at 8:30/7:30c! http://t.co/SboPURCC
Updated 50 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Bobcat fake mustache party pic. http://t.co/ZJaB4lxK
Updated 50 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Aftershow fake mustache party. http://t.co/D1C1Kd73
Updated 50 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
On the Awkward Party Bus heading to Neptune with mimes! http://t.co/w01xPwqb
Updated 50 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Last night of EMCF Seattle! 2 shows! @kristenschaaled! Bobcat Goldthwait! @toddbarry! @ttsvarietyshow! More! http://t.co/veix6uef
Updated 51 days ago via WhoSay
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
For those asking, there'll be 30 - 45 minutes between the end of Talent Show at Crocodile & the start of Pretty Good Friends at Neptune.
Updated 51 days ago via Twitterrific
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
@michaelianblack He is already in dispute with ProTools about it.
Updated 51 days ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Wow. Just got to #ECCC but the line is over an hour. Oh well.
Updated 51 days ago via Twitter for Android
EugeneMirman
I am television's Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.

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