Home > Borat Sagdiyev
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Ive had it with all these mothafuckin avengers on this motherfuckin flying aircraft carrier!
Updated 7 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
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borat
I just sharted in my pants, it looks like voldemort laying under the park bench.
Updated 10 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
borat
Who needs a wife when you have a microwave and a vacuum?
Updated 17 days ago via web Permalink
borat
They tried making a notorious BIG hologram but it kept running out of breath.
Updated 29 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
borat
This is 2nd time in my life I've wanted to make love to a cat http://t.co/QxTr1NbD
Updated 35 days ago via web Permalink
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I will let you figure this out on your own. http://t.co/cZ6T6ebU
Updated 40 days ago via web Permalink
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"only alcohol can make a sunrise look shitty" - me.. best quote of all time.
Updated 40 days ago via web Permalink
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"Game of Thrones" sounds like a rich mans version of Musical Chairs...think about it.
Updated 45 days ago via web Permalink
borat
Take the last song you played and add "in my ass"..post your results. Example "Glad you came in my ass" by the wanted. GO!
Updated 46 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
borat
its official, you should all follow @RonBurgundy
Updated 47 days ago via web Permalink
borat
in the wise words of jacob from the kony video.."id rather be dead" - http://t.co/5EfUALFO
Updated 51 days ago via web Permalink
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Forget KONY, I want Bay's head on a stick for this. http://t.co/EHyO3dVn
Updated 57 days ago via web Permalink
borat
The sidewalk must have stole someones child and made it rape their parents. http://t.co/K5UDyO26
Updated 60 days ago via web Permalink
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How to undo a movement in one night: http://t.co/zNrbDaw6
Updated 61 days ago via web Permalink
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I just gleeked in my pants. http://t.co/Aw7sIx7x
Updated 66 days ago via web Permalink
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John Carter is in theaters, thats not a suggestion its a warning.
Updated 67 days ago via web Permalink
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no joke here, just watch it. http://t.co/kGy1xhTh
Updated 70 days ago via web Permalink
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whenever i see a cat in public i yell "that shit stray"
Updated 76 days ago via web Permalink
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little known fact, the ashes that were poured on Ryan Seacrest were actually those of Brian Dunkleman.
Updated 77 days ago via web Permalink
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HUGO got the special EFX oscar? HEY ACADEMY! STOP JERKING OFF SCORCESE.
Updated 78 days ago via web Permalink
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so this is how Michael Jackson kept the boys silent... http://t.co/DqFq2jpo
Updated 83 days ago via web Permalink
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Whitney is 12 days sober if you dont count formaldehyde. #fuckindrugs
Updated 83 days ago via web Permalink
borat
"It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission" - Rapist
Updated 83 days ago via web Permalink
borat
VD is the most tragic shortening for Valentines Day. Dont use it. #venereal disease
Updated 92 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
borat
Your loved one will probably die before you. Happy vday!!
Updated 92 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
borat
These 3D glasses are making star wars so dark i cant see the one black guy.
Updated 93 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
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If you are female and said chris brown can beat u becuz he is sexy...please dont have children. #notfunnyjustreal
Updated 93 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
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Whitney had a great voice, but i see no difference when yall made fun of her when she was alive. Fuck hypocrites. RIP anyone who passes.
Updated 95 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
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should have hired a better body guard http://t.co/TKqvAO45
Updated 95 days ago via web Permalink
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This is elton johns food pyramid http://t.co/86VIRs5G
Updated 100 days ago via web Permalink
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after he destroys them, i will mend http://t.co/zDSpH8UZ
Updated 101 days ago via web Permalink
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Cooper, Helms & Galifianakis Want Big Pay Raises for The 3rd Hangover, Justin Bantha still giving BJ's for lunch money. http://t.co/q1kkbs2E
Updated 112 days ago via web Permalink
borat
That song "staring down the barrel of a 45" makes me think of michael jordans penis.
Updated 112 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
borat
Jay-Z's kid will be a rapper and go by the name Blue Jay
Updated 122 days ago via web Permalink
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someone finally got footage of Lindsay Lohan doing blow http://t.co/C7WoO93p
Updated 127 days ago via web Permalink
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Happy New Tears, you are all still gonna die. #afteryousober
Updated 136 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
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#godisnotgreat but props, jesus walking on water was pretty baller
Updated 150 days ago via web Permalink
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the last half of 'rise of the planet of the apes' could have been avoided if it took place in ohio.
Updated 154 days ago via web Permalink
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I knew I was in love with my boyfriend when I bought us 2nd floor bulls tickets.
Updated 161 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
borat
This is really clever...ready for it? Occupy my asshole oh man sometimes I amaze myself.
Updated 168 days ago via Twitter for iPhone Permalink
borat
Adam Carolla Fans! - New App & Site coming 11-4-11. enter to win a Trip 2 LA 2 meet Adam! #launch http://t.co/HQZzcGcq via @adamcarollashow
Updated 195 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
borat
Adam Carolla Fans! Sign Up & enter to win a Trip 2 LA 2 meet Adam! #launch http://t.co/HQZzcGcq via @adamcarollashow
Updated 196 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
Adam Carolla Fans! Sign Up & enter to win a Trip 2 LA 2 meet Adam! #launch http://t.co/HQZzcGcq via @adamcarollashow
Updated 196 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
New Adam Carolla App & Site coming 11-4-11. Enter to win a Trip 2 LA 2 meet Adam! #launch http://t.co/HQZzcGcq via @adamcarollashow
Updated 197 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
Borat
New Adam Carolla App coming 11-4-11. Sign Up & enter to win a Trip 2 LA 2 meet Adam! #launch http://t.co/HQZzcGcq via @adamcarollashow
Updated 197 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
Borat
Carolla 2.0-New App & Site R launching soon. Sign Up so I can win a Trip 2 LA 2 meet Adam #launch http://t.co/HQZzcGcq via @adamcarollashow
Updated 197 days ago via Tweet Button Permalink
Borat
Borat
Flick that bean...if you know what i mean. http://t.co/UW3gnF7v
Updated 199 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
zachary quinto's eyebrows are more intimidating than ron Jeremy's enormous....gut.
Updated 200 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
There are no fat people in the "Paranormal Activity" movies because they look hilarious being pulled down stairs.
Updated 206 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
Borat
i started a new religion that all should live by. promote the cause, it saves puppies. http://t.co/PVS5F2O
Updated 251 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
Who goes and dies during Comicon?!?!
http://t.co/bjfmOhc
Updated 298 days ago via web Permalink
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Borat
olivia wilde is in everything lately, its only right that i want to be in her.
Updated 375 days ago via web Permalink
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Borat
I like to use breath right strips to hold my wife's beef curtains apart
Updated 422 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
i never wanted to pork miley cyrus until she dressed up as justin beiber. does that say something?
Updated 432 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
If Edward Cullen drank tiger blood would the world Implode?
Updated 437 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
The one guy that got to screw Amber Heard before she figured out she was a lesbian is the luckiest bad lay alive.
Updated 446 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I dont need lady gaga's new fragrance, i just beat off with razor blades.
http://bit.ly/h2tZ43
Updated 474 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
Borat
I cant wait till this couple gets a divorce and the next video says "EMILY YOU FUCKING BITCH!" http://bit.ly/h2ujlg
Updated 481 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
Im thankful that most girls are not like Neytiri, Jake had to kick it for 3 months until he got laid. thats crazy. #thanksforsluts
Updated 538 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
i couldnt do one of those green chicks from star trek, it would be like screwing a bowl of guacamole, and i HATE guacamole.
Updated 568 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
Everyone should dress their kids as angry birds for halloween so I don't feel bad when I run them over.
Updated 569 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
Borat
yo emcee borat in da hut.
kanye west is a douche and i wish nicki minaj was a mirage,
only time she should use her mouth is giving rim jobs
Updated 569 days ago via Power Twitter Permalink
Borat
Angry birds is a good toilet game as long as you don't get angry and clinch
Updated 575 days ago via Mobile Web Permalink
Borat
Damn, someone give that bieber kid an oscar. I almost believed he wasnt gay on CSI.
Updated 600 days ago via Power Twitter Permalink
Borat
I love when 9 year old girls sing sexually charged songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvV3l-dbRTI
Updated 610 days ago via Power Twitter Permalink
Borat
at least chelsea handler started the VMAs where all girls should be. in the house!
Updated 611 days ago via Power Twitter Permalink
Borat
The earthquake in New Zealand occurred because peter jackson was writing a sequel to 'The Lovely Bones'.
Updated 617 days ago via Power Twitter Permalink
Borat
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
MACHETE DONT TEXT!!! I CUT BITCHES HEADS OFF IN MEDIOCRE MOVIES!!!
Updated 618 days ago via Power Twitter Permalink
Borat
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Beating up small annoying asian chicks..how does that work?? http://bit.ly/deOJHY
Updated 640 days ago via Power Twitter Permalink
Borat
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
ive determined cheerios are only good for putting in your toilet and hitting with your urine stream. they taste like shit, so its fitting.
Updated 758 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Borat
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Dirty Old Man Jay. http://twitgoo.com/oi9ly
Borat
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Mix a lil bit of eminem with a lil bit of snookie and you have contrast. http://twitpic.com/1fw4gf
Borat
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Due to dumb people i have to be clear, I am not Sasha Cohen. Shit I say is a joke, so calm the fudge down. http://twitter.com/bretesque (real me)
Larry King is divorcing his 7th wife, He can piss on the sacrament of marriage 7 times but homosexuals cant do it once? http://bit.ly/bXvTTh
Updated 763 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
#smackyaself if you thought i was really a fictional character from the mind of sasha cohen. seriously.
Updated 766 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
I will keep posting the shit i always do, but not on this account. Im coming out of borats closet. it was a fun ride. http://bit.ly/adJN2q
Updated 766 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
I will keep posting the shit i always do, but not on this account. Im coming out of borats closet. it was a fun ride. http://bit.ly/adJN2q
Updated 766 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
No, im not sasha. if you thought I was you should probably kill yourself. I will post personal shit here from now on. http://bit.ly/adJN2q
Updated 766 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
I uploaded a YouTube video -- BPOD - April 11th 2010 http://youtu.be/xYv7WZmpe8M?a
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
Updated 767 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
I liked a YouTube video -- Brets Picture of the Day - April 10th 2010 link in info bar below! http://youtu.be/ed-7XUI6fS0?a
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
I uploaded a YouTube video -- Brets Picture of the Day - April 10th 2010 link in info bar below! http://youtu.be/ed-7XUI6fS0?a
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed-7XUI6fS0 (only click if you like photography..yes im being nice for once.)
Updated 767 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
http://twitpic.com/1dqehw - Should have used a sock.
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
http://twitpic.com/1dpm6a - I have found Lady GaGa's penis.
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
Easter is all jesus and colored eggs, so ruin it with some vulgar movie talk. http://bit.ly/ck9HfV
Updated 773 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
If you dont know what a FLESH light is, just google it. It will change your life more than barack obama.
Updated 773 days ago via web Permalink
Borat
I make Sexy Time!
I make Sexy Time!
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