Home > Sarah Silverman
I am a monkey | 1,993,504 Fans ON FIRE! Chance of Friendship: Dream On! 2.9 Tweets Per Day (TPD) 2.8% Reply Rate 224.7% Link Posting Location: Palestinian Territories + Map |  @SarahKSilverman Official Site | |
Episode 2 of VOICES OF LEARNING is up
http://t.co/DGPWGMkIL8
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We take it for granted. Seinfeld is always great.
I can't be blind, Jerry. The blind are courageous.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I'm officially declaring this hurricane a terrorist act.
#PrayForOklahoma
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Thank u my p-in-c @lynchland & awesome Adam Schlesinger (@Fountainsofwayn) PERFECT NIGHT
http://t.co/GgH3RHxO9R
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
new music video: PERFECT NIGHT featuring @iamwill
I made this for you.
http://t.co/7NGZ3N0EnW
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Preshow in 5 mins, LIVE streaming show starts in an hour! First up, @Sethrogen & me
http://t.co/Duxj0EQrhi
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
The man that I love thinks that Splash is "the best show on television"
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm.
Of course mama's gonna help build the wall.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Mama's gonna make all your nightmares come true.
Mama's gonna put all her fears into you.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Basketball brings people together http://t.co/MBrpeBU39q
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
This is not a puppet http://t.co/CbF6oIoZeM
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
That cookie feels like a racial slur RT @RebelWilson I could probably eat my body weight in macaroons x
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I love & accept people who love & accept people
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I hate to be negative but if there's a God & if it's possible for an airline to get AIDS, I hope God gives @americanair AIDS
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I wasn't on stand by I had a coach ticket bought and paid for.
@americanair #neveragain
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Also, if ithere is a God & if it's possible for an airline to get AIDS, I hope God gives @americanairlines AIDS.
Love,
Sarah
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Well I got to the airport 2 hours early & then was not allowed to board because the plane was too heavy. My friend o… http://t.co/UIlIvYpuUV
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
My own self, @thelonelyisland & their mommies
http://t.co/PBhHFKRwHd
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Laughing is funny! @thelonelyisland & me #comedyweek
http://t.co/lud0L0N8P9
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Egg on my FACE! RT @daxshepard1 @SarahKSilverman I think he meant "Kite;" which then makes sense, because kites CAN'T go out in the rain.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
In half? That's so specif RT @(omitted) @SarahKSilverman I want to crack every kike tooth of yours in half. U have NO talent jew
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I don't get the rain part RT @(omitted) @SarahKSilverman u better watch were you go kike u can't just walk outside in the rain
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
.@pennjillette is #celebapprenticeMVP
(RT this for a GREAT mental health charity!)
http://t.co/0Hn8QBC8SR
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I bet u get tons of (hairy) pussy! RT @DrPizza I think the right to control ur own body is far more fundamental than the right to own guns
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
@pennjillette is #celebapprenticemvp
(RT this for a GREAT mental health charity- I fucked up on the last tweet!)
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
If you tweet "@PennJillette is my #CelebApprentice" right now it will raise $ for a GREAT & much needed cause, Opportunity Village
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to the 2 greatest moms a girl could ask for! (Yes, Mom, I know I ended that sentence w a preposit… http://t.co/jDse2FbE4X
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Perfectly put! RT @MrWalrusQ http://t.co/fRMC7uOcfg
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
The GOP wants to wish you a Happy Mother's Day http://t.co/5qxfiQk3TK
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're ALL against murder, whether it's of actual people & or not-yet-alive goo
#NotSoDifferentAfterAll
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Dear gun peeps,
Why y'all protective of privacy when it comes to guns but not when it comes to repro rights?
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Does anybody else's fingers spontaneously combust at the joints? Just out of nowhere? http://t.co/3yWqwoQDjW
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Security just called my hotel rm w a noise complaint - that's how hardcore i am (I'm Skyping w my mom at 10:45 on a Sat)
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Walgreen's Pain Reliever: now with dark red dye! http://t.co/tAzog576Ty
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Whole bag of caramel popcorn for dinner: check
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
My #1 hero & the greatest human I never met (but have known since I was little)
READ THIS:
http://t.co/ph7AdGQ6OW
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
If ur not looney tunes or a criminal, how could background checks possibly hurt your precious gun boners?
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Tiny plane. Excessive amount of gum chompers. This may be the end of me.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Oh, you've been on your way to 'ew' for a while now, Malina. RT @JoshMalina On my way to @ew for an interview
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Wait- if shame was caused by a bite off a crappy apple, why are we staying with it's bad-apple ideals?
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Instagram pic got deleted- sry!!
Was just a pic that came up when I googled "hairy vagina" in dentist waiting rm 4 no reason
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Ya, Girl, let your freak flag fly http://t.co/ldYujpKg1j
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
This dog just doesn't get it http://t.co/fSPp1TE8uN
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Oh my! BETWEEN TWO FERNS!
http://t.co/T1zpammQgg
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Michael Cera's trailer for the upcoming GREGORY GO BOOM!
#JASH
http://t.co/FlevyqWI3H
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
This morning's playlist: Mountain Goats/Stars/MaryGauthier/Elliot Smith/Miley/JennyLewis/BrandiCarlile
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
There isn't a website devoted to "amateur hairy pussy pics"
Just kidding there is
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Fete des pets behind the scenes reel
http://t.co/H0jsnLiAUs
#JASH
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Yes I took that weekend writing class everyone takes at some point
#incitingincident
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
There was no inciting incident it just washed over me like a cloud.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Holy crap a really good mood just snuck up on me out of nowhere
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Feeling a sense of accomplishment after scrubbing, mopping & disinfecting a full-on dogshit massacre
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
New #JASH vid y'all. Thanks to dir Nick Jasenovec & editor @DanFlesherEdits
http://t.co/QIf95AKKcb
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
The trailer for my French noir film from the 60's is out:
http://t.co/E37ifTQFvq
#JASH
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I don't know, CAN you? RT @ThisGuyJamesH @SarahKSilverman can I stick my tongue in your asshole?
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Let me babysit your toddler!
#UncleSarah
http://t.co/ICjGIxAaPa
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Mamas - in LA MAY 5? Come to a teeny tiny super secret special taping:
http://t.co/nJSTOdr3Yi
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
It's a well known fact that motion-activated paper towel dispensers don't work for jews
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
The woman next to me on this flight is tap tap tap tapping nails on her hardcover book. Just FYI
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Shit my hand RT @DougBenson Finding out what smh means totally had me smh.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Just found this rad pic of @kristenschaaled Tiggles @morgan_murphy sweet Janeanne & a horse named me http://t.co/u7VZjUosFd
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Let me babysit your kids:
#UncleSarah
http://t.co/ICjGIxAaPa
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Hey babies & toddlers! UNCLE SARAH is FINALLY fixed for IPAD & IPHONE:
http://t.co/ICjGIxAaPa
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
AUCTION FOR BOSTON- I'll leave your outgoing voicemail message
http://t.co/m1XLB8bDfx
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Dear House of Representatives,
Who exactly are you representing?
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
RT @rickygervais These window washers at a children's hospital in Pittsburgh,
show the best of human nature.. http://t.co/Bfg2pC4aZv
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Love is Love via @rantsfromboca http://t.co/XH8k42tK8R
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
The devastating @Aboycraig (@kyledunnigan) Pre-show http://t.co/qjHQhuh5yN
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Even the mannequins in South Beach have fake tits http://t.co/DWlRtW5thr
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
This is a story I read by @tweenhobo. Also @ConanOBrien, Jack White @kcrworganist http://t.co/I4tUUyhiPB
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
just saw a baby at LAX that looks EXACTLY like Lorne Michaels
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
If u believed all the great things u say about yourself u wouldn't need to say them & u wouldn't be so angry
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
If you don't like being in the dark turn on the lights, Doll.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
You'll have to pry my misfired gun from my cold dead half-hand
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
He doesn't have anything against them, he's just not a "dog" dog.
(Duck)
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Heya! @eddiepepitone @jeffgarlin & @kyledunnigan on SARAH & FRIENDS at @LargoLosAngeles this THURS, Yo!
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Dan's a cutter!! RT @DanFlesherEdits Cut a @SarahKSilverman PSA by directors @andrewbarchilon & @kitaosakurai http://t.co/ttdlNIjfXB
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Word.! I mean the Wahlbergs ALONE RT @GarryShandling You've got to be an idiot to do anythig that makes the city of Boston mad
at you
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I hate not knowing where to put all this rage & sadness.
Oh my #Boston
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
My latest JASH video.
Enjoy!
http://t.co/ttdlNIjfXB
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Just posted a photo http://t.co/kAKti7Arwn
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
What if we raised our children to have values& empathy-not b/c of fear of God or a prize of heaven but just b/c it was right?
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Religions are basic guidelines of how to live for addicts & sociopaths who need that kind of stuff.
Goodnight, Sweetie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I wish America would realize @kyledunnigan isn't just a comedian - he's a singer w/ a FUCKING GOLDEN EAR http://t.co/mkUn3pMqvF
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I am not a member of any Chosen People. I'm in fact almost never chosen.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Brave people don't try to take rights away from others.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
I know this isn't an original statement but the @BookOfMormonBWY blows me away in every way
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Anyone have an RV to loan to the @professorblastoff cast for their tour in May?
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Where might one buy acid 4 throwing in people's faces b/c their beliefs are dif than mine? Asking 4 a friend. Need to know ASAP
SarahKSilverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
This is the bottom of the page....
This Week's Tweets (20)
Sarah On YouTube
Today's Most Talkative
