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Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
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@CarrieFFisher
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Houston you have a... me. I'm at the @HobbyCenter through Sunday. Use code 2Carrie for discounted tix... http://t.co/2ee1MZ5h
Updated about 12 hours ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Can't get enough Ohio. I'll be in Columbus May 23 at the Wexner Center for the Arts. 7:30pm. With Erin Moriarty... http://t.co/CbJh1BLy
Updated 9 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
My friend Michael Rosenbaum wrote, produced, and stars in this award winning film. If it's half as good as he is... http://t.co/5N3jOVZ5
Updated 20 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Look who I met. Such an honor. May the Air Force be with you. http://t.co/2Qxv3PP1
Updated 27 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Searching for pussy in Ohio. I'll keep you posted on results. Reading Henry Miller for tips, or tits, not sure... http://t.co/uqYSeg4c
Updated 31 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
See me for less but get more. 35% discount for WISHFUL DRINKING in Dayton until April 22! Use code SHOCKAHOLIC at... http://t.co/7ucVMyZN
Updated 34 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I'm here in Dayton OH. More later. http://t.co/P0V86gPy
Updated 36 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Okay, here's proof I did have the facelift. http://t.co/4YW6yevT
Updated 42 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I think the hair does look better in a darker dress. http://t.co/3Shhs38w
Updated 56 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
If you can read this... you're too close. And come see me and I'll sign your lips. ぜひ3月20日(火・祝日)11:00~には秋葉原の... http://t.co/qoS6pupv
Updated 58 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Have a ForceLite. http://t.co/kOKPkv3N
Updated 63 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
"If I felt half as good as you looked, I'd go out and kill myself while it lasted." ---from some old movie
Updated 65 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Me and Hoda (of Kathie Lee and Hoda). And Luke Perry happily searching for his penis. http://t.co/XeCBvrKI
Updated 83 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I'm deliberately going to China to avoid the tour of William Shatner, but if you want to go hassle him on my... http://t.co/HSESAbos
Updated 86 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
NEBRASKA! Who knew?! http://t.co/ZMLjRvyU
Updated 86 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
How many times do I have to tell you?! I said get up off your ass, not get your ass up to your shoulders. Share... http://t.co/y5Wlfmuv
Updated 99 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Tom Brady is so good looking, even if he loses, he still gets to be himself, which has got to be fun. I mean... http://t.co/ergd7E4f
Updated 101 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Look what followed me to Baltimore. I'm so embarrassed. http://t.co/S3411rkH
Updated 102 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Me searching for one of my breasts with friends. http://t.co/aEIHlQ5W
Updated 102 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
"Life is a chemical incident." -Paul Ehrlich as a schoolboy, 1870. http://t.co/PDOT9U3E
Updated 103 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I'm glad this photo is taken from far away or you would see the beginnings of the Bubonic plague on my face.... http://t.co/kl8llT9R
Updated 105 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Me doing the monologue from Macbeth with a Norwegian accent. And/or a radio interview for NPR. http://t.co/cIAFbycb
Updated 106 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
HELLO BALTIMORE! Use code DETOX to save on tickets to WISHFUL DRINKING at the Hippodrome Theatre. Click here... http://t.co/UT7B8CN2
Updated 106 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Me learning how to kick people in the balls. http://t.co/bFctyqx4
Updated 111 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I am going to be on the TODAY SHOW tomorrow (making it the TOMORROW SHOW) Thursday, at 10am with hoda kotb.... http://t.co/5FqQLS0b
Updated 111 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Madam Leia?!?!?!?! I'll be exhausted! http://t.co/fZAURctm
Updated 128 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I suddenly feel I've been miscast as Carrie Fisher. I am holding auditions. The pay is not great. But at... http://t.co/6XUwMuL4
Updated 134 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Déjà Voodoo! http://t.co/pCCIZVVL
Updated 134 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
My friend went to St. Barts and all she got was an unsaintly vaginal infection. I am going to have t-shirts made.... http://t.co/tgwruyDu
Updated 138 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
My friend went to St. Barts and all she got was a unsaintly vaginal infection. I am going to have t-shirts made.... http://t.co/EsGInSMq
Updated 138 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Merry Christmas, xooxxo Saint Leia of Darthlahem http://t.co/WReWvQvR
Updated 144 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Tis the season to eat blow out of your brothers ass... apparently . http://t.co/XCLSGlFF
Updated 146 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I'm watching a really relaxing 20-hour show called "The Killing." I've been watching it for 3 days. I only have... http://t.co/ZAMEwZOf
Updated 147 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
The same thing under my tree every year. http://t.co/DIpftpsk
Updated 149 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Please share your deepest thoughts on this matter. http://t.co/2AbEzDUY
Updated 155 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
If you can't afford the camera, why not buy something to wear while not being able to afford the camera. http://t.co/VkR9wc7D
Updated 167 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Makes a great stocking stuffer! http://t.co/0eXkuLLS
Updated 168 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
People think Leprosy is gone, but it’s not. It still exists and it can be cured! It is especially bad in south... http://t.co/6xDQVR4I
Updated 171 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Where's the chick in the gold bikini?! http://t.co/V66FKdCG http://t.co/lm1aF36b
Updated 171 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
WARNING: If a "hotel" alerts potential customers to its opening by dropping a flag that says "now open" from its... http://t.co/oOZx0X2z
Updated 171 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
AT LONG LAST! Thank God! A mystery now solved!... http://t.co/isjsKS5k
Updated 177 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Has-been actress stabbing herself in the neck before someone else does. http://t.co/xs7IHkG8
Updated 179 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I explain why I want to cut off an arm... among other things. http://t.co/f4kMEkcm
Updated 180 days ago via Tweet Button
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Thoughts... if any? With Kathie Lee and Hoda http://t.co/1p7auBV2 http://t.co/py9QdFI4
Updated 180 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
There are no words. But plenty breast. http://t.co/Mxq4evYe http://t.co/uAwVkXpC
Updated 180 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Regifting from George Lucas for my birthday recently. http://t.co/Di8gUip4
Updated 181 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Tom Brokaw and I trying to reminisce about a sexual encounter we'd both forgotten. http://t.co/SeTEttQ7
Updated 182 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Today I was on THE TALK, nude and sobbing, per usual. With Henry Winkler, Sara Gilbert, Julie Chen, Aisha Tyler,... http://t.co/W66O9ujt
Updated 183 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Beware of Bark Vader!... http://t.co/b0ebvvhg
Updated 184 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
"The authority of beauty is a very irrational thing." from American Pastoral by Philip Roth #philiproth #americanpastoral
Updated 184 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Star Wars VS Star Trek!!!! What do you think?!?! @carrieffisher vs @williamshatner... http://t.co/x6XYriMm
Updated 187 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Watch at your own risk! http://t.co/YikBPL7R http://t.co/6ja59znj
Updated 189 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
The perfect place to read my book: A toilet in Austria. Thanks Gunter! :) http://t.co/CHOmQZTP
Updated 191 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I posted 5 photos on Facebook in the album "Carrie Fisher red carpet at Silver Hill gala" http://t.co/maxPVm46
Updated 193 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Japanese anti-drug campaign. and/or me giving speech and getting an award from Silver Hill Hospital for... http://t.co/fkW92QTL
Updated 194 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Me with no upper lip, green eyes, and my new fiancé. http://t.co/gllSO506
Updated 194 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Where is Billy Bush's other hand?! My interview with them airs today on Access Hollywood. http://t.co/2Zb4bvCq
Updated 195 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Here's an interview about SHOCKAHOLIC where I talk about sex... kind of.... http://t.co/HzEfqoP8
Updated 195 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
"BEST BOOK OF THE MONTH".... goes to... my new book SHOCKAHOLIC! Hope you enjoy!... http://t.co/MWfGZSNI
Updated 196 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
In this photo.... The effects of gamma rays on man in the moon Marigolds---musical adaptation. And/or me... http://t.co/W9G7VPew
Updated 196 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
What do you think of SHOCKAHOLIC! http://t.co/it0REyJB http://t.co/Lxcr2SFQ
Updated 196 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Dreamt I was waking up with Al. Woke up alone. http://t.co/7dK7kbz2
Updated 196 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Appearing on Extra tonight 11/1/11. Check local listings! And check out SHOCKAHOLIC and laugh and cry and... http://t.co/23Kz4Y7L
Updated 197 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
WIN MY STUFF!!!!!! http://t.co/it0REyJB http://t.co/rZeLPtud
Updated 197 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Salman Rushdie and Carrie Fisher on Halloween, dressed as each other. #carriefisher #salmanrushdie http://t.co/rzUe0WV1
Updated 197 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
With Ann Curry on Today Show for SHOCKAHOLIC. It was so early!!! What a blur! #today #carriefisher http://t.co/kc7AJumm
Updated 197 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
TODAY SHOW with Hoda and Kathy Lee. They said my book SHOCKAHOLIC was brilliant and hilarious. I think. Who can... http://t.co/J8ej2ZWM
Updated 197 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Check me out on The Insider tonight! Check local listings! Promoting my new book SHOCKAHOLIC on sale today!... http://t.co/SKSWzQGJ
Updated 197 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I posted 2 photos on Facebook in the album "The Insider interview November 1, 2011" http://t.co/25EofdrY
Updated 197 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
SHOCKAHOLIC TODAY! Appearing on the Today Show today in 8am and 10am hours! I have nothing clever to say about... http://t.co/WD7krF6m
Updated 197 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Princess Leia (before & after) and Darth Vader (before). Happy Halloween!!! http://t.co/OV1SnBZz
Updated 198 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Princess Leia (before & after) and Darth Vader (before). http://t.co/1Y83D5YK
Updated 198 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Came to NYC to get away from Halloween. Turns out they have it here too. Any advice?
Updated 198 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Judah: a great writer & lay (ish). RT @judahworldchamp Carrie Fisher is a hilarious writer & performer. http://t.co/E0RIJYIn via @twitpic
Updated 200 days ago via Tweet Button
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Oh damn. This is what I was going to be for Halloween. Now I'll have to find another costume. http://t.co/6ZKccUSp
Updated 200 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Up early for an interview. It's so beautiful in the mornings! Who knew?! Happy Friday!
Updated 201 days ago via Twitter for iPhone
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Just what I always wanted: A Wishful Drinking pumpkin made by fans in Baltimore! The show is in Baltimore Jan. 31... http://t.co/Cajle1eR
Updated 202 days ago via Facebook
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
WISHFUL DRINKING opens in Chicago Tomorrow. Use code GOSSIP for 50% off main floor seats, just for my fellow Tweeters! http://t.co/6qkX5d7c
Updated 226 days ago via web
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Greetings from Alderaan, I am now on Facebook. http://t.co/QvKAb2Ev Visit me.
Updated 230 days ago via web
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Greetings from Alderon, I am now on Facebook. http://t.co/QvKAb2Ev Visit me.
Updated 231 days ago via web
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
WISHFUL DRINKING Chicago tix are on sale today! Use code WDTWEET for $35 main floor tix (reg. price $60!!) http://t.co/v3gd7wB
Updated 280 days ago via web
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
"I’ve asked my daughter to call me “nommy” until the ceremonies" #WishfulDrinking | Emmys.com http://t.co/TLV7mBf
Updated 296 days ago via Tweet Button
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
My existence could be summed up in one phrase and that is If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable
Updated 300 days ago via web
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Though life is far from a bed of roses Thru which one lethargically loiters It nevertheless is more savory Than a bed comprised of goiters
Updated 302 days ago via web
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
New blog post: Next to Nowhere... http://carriefisher.com/?p=707
Updated 302 days ago via CarrieFFisher
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
This is me, Carnack Flazbooner, learning to tweet---improving my tweet & potatoes skills for your musical enjoyment...
Updated 310 days ago via Twitter for iPhone
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I was just on the radio in Canada w/ @jianghomeshi & that's not a euphemism...
Updated 310 days ago via web
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I now follow @simonpegg everywhere he goes- I want you to know there's no funny stuff between us. He's a married man with children.
Updated 312 days ago via web
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
F flying United- 3hrs delay and counting no end in sight starting now. http://t.co/iulJCcE
Updated 333 days ago via Twitter for iPhone
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Marilyn Monroe Car Rolls To The Auction Block This Saturday http://t.co/rNiQzZf via @TheRealMA
Updated 335 days ago via Tweet Button
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
New blog post: Own a piece of history!!! http://carriefisher.com/?p=692
Updated 347 days ago via CarrieFFisher
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
New blog post: In Honore of de Balzac http://carriefisher.com/?p=683
Updated 361 days ago via CarrieFFisher
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Rapture is nigh- roll a fatty & save the grass & whales #BYOB bring your own bible @alderaanplaces @CraigyFerg @mrosenbaum711 @stephenfry
Updated 361 days ago via Twitter for iPhone
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
Me and my incredibly shrinking breasts are on @CraigyFerg tonight. Thanks To @JennyCraig I'm hoping to be engaged to someone by yesterday...
Updated 362 days ago via Twitter for iPhone
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
I desperately need 4 #Glastonbury tickets. I'm willing to go to any lengths that doesn't involve nudity- you wont regret it.
Updated 364 days ago via Twitter for iPhone
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
#BREAKINGIN Season Finale on tonight 9:30 pm on @FOXbroadcasting pls watch so that I'll be able to ask my friend @mrosenbaum711 for a loan 
Updated 365 days ago via Twitter for iPad
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
New blog post: My JC is #1 http://carriefisher.com/?p=666
Updated 371 days ago via CarrieFFisher
CarrieFFisher
Metaphors be with you all & Instant gratification takes too long.
It's #starwarsday Im giving 20% off all remaining items in my store @ www.carriefisher.com discount code #maythe4thbewithyou ONLY TODAY...
Updated 378 days ago via web
CarrieFFisher
Instant gratification takes too long.
“@davepfox: @CarrieFFisher been to see the aurora borealis yet?” not yet. Hope to in 2011-12 any help would be appreciated.
Updated 386 days ago via Twitter for iPad
CarrieFFisher
Instant gratification takes too long.
Im more impressed than possessed. still, the power of @JennyCraig compels me the power of #Craig compels me, the power of #Craig compels me
Updated 386 days ago via Twitter for iPad
CarrieFFisher
Instant gratification takes too long.

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